They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but whoever they are, they probably haven’t seen the Washington Post Style Invitational Bad Simile and Metaphor Contest. Yes, the Washington Post has sponsored an intentionally awful writing contest, and shares all of the entries. Some of my favorites from 2008:
- His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat.
- The was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
- The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of “Jeopardy!”
- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
You get the idea. (If you’d like to read a whole bunch more, click this and enjoy!) Sometimes, words can be destructive. Other times, they can paint a brilliant, beautiful, marvelous picture. This week, as we continue to seek arts in worship, we’ll be joined by a painter, and working through Job 38 together—I’ll be preaching, he’ll be painting, the Spirit will be moving, and we’ll see what happens. I look forward to seeing you Sunday.